Myisha VelardeNovember 29, 2017Sage VogelEnglish I: Rough DraftThe child huddled in the corner trying hard not to breathe.. “God.. please, help me, don’t let him find me…”The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations. Losing on average almost 5 children everyday to child abuse and neglect. Abuse occurs when people mistreat or misuse other people, showing no concern for their integrity or innate worth as individuals, and in a manner that degrades their well-being.American children are suffering from a hidden epidemic of child abuse and neglect. National child abuse estimates are well known for being under-reported. The latest 2015 Child Maltreatment Report from the Children’s Bureau was published in January 2015. The report shows an increase in child abuse referrals from 3.6 million to 4 million. The number of children involved subsequently increased to 7.2 million from 6.6 million. The report also indicates an increase of child deaths from abuse and neglect to 1,700 in 2015, up from 1,580 in 2014. Some reports estimate child abuse fatalities at 1,740 or even higher. Anyone can experience verbal abuse. Typically in a family or romantic relationship. Verbal abuse is described as a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim, or by withholding any response, thereby defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser does not immediately apologize and retract the defining statement, the relationship may be very verbally abusive. Anger underlines, motivates and perpetuates verbally abusive behavior.In school and in the everyday life, a person may indulge in verbal abuse- bullying- to gain status as superior to the person targeted and to bond with others against the target. Emotional abuse can happen to anyone at anytime in their lives. Children, teens and adults all experience emotional abuse. And emotional abuse can have devastating consequences in relationships and all of the people involved. Just because there is no physical mark doesn’t mean the abuse isn’t real and isn’t a problem or even a crime in some countries. One definition of emotional abuse is: “Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.” Emotional abuse like any other types of abuse, tends to take the form of cycle. In a relationship, this cycle started when one partner emotionally abuses the other, typically to show dominance. The abuser feels guilt, but not about what he (or she) has done, but more over the consequences of his (or her) actions. The abuser then makes up excuses for their behavior to avoid taking responsibility over what has happened. Sexual abuse or sexual assault, which occurs in many forms, includes child sexual abuse, male and female rape, and ritual sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is generally considered by experts, including mental health professionals, as an “act of aggression” and not a “crime of passion”. The majority of sexual abuse crime is committed by men, and it is increasing at a faster rate than any other violent crime in the United States. The National Victim Center reports that over 700,000 women are sexually abused annually, with an estimated 61% of these under the age of 18, and that, as a conservative estimate, one in every six boys are sexually abused before the age of 16. These numbers are considered extremely conservative. Studies show that approximately 80% of all sexual assaults are committed by a friend, acquaintance, or family member of the victim. Victims of sexual abuse–whether female or male, child or adult–are susceptible to lifelong emotional pain. Because so many cases go unreported, many victims suffer their pain in silence and without help or comfort.Use of drugs and alcohol has been found to contribute to the risk of sexual abuse. Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam) is a sleeping medication that, although not marketed in the United States, has been associated here with “date rape” due to the disinhibition it causes. Also known by the street names of Roachies, Rophies, Ruffies, or La Roche, it can impair memory and judgment for eight to 24 hours. These side effects are greater when this medication is ingested in combination with alcohol. The definition of physical abuse, according to New York State Office of Children and Family Services, is; Non-accidental use of force that results in bodily injury, pain, or impairment. This includes, but not limited to, being slapped, burned, cut, bruised or improperly physically restrained. Physical abuse is not limited to children and can happen to adults of any age. Neglect is also considered an aspect of physical abuse and this type of abuse often happens when one adult cares for another; such as, in the case of an adult child caring for a parent.Physical abuse can range from relatively mild such as a slap, to severe such as breaking of bones. An example of physical abuse in the words of one woman; “He broke into my house. He was breaking my fingers, to take my daughter from my arms, because that was his way to control me and my other daughter was upstairs, that was late at night and he was to to take her me because I had taken the children out for dinner, and he didn’t know where I was…” Why does abuse happen? There is no easy answer to the question of why men abuse women. Until recently, women were not given equal legal status. There were many things they were not allowed to do. In families they were often treated like property, belonging first to a father or other male relative and later to a husband. The man was the legal head of the household and ruled the family. It was okay for a man to use force to control his wife or solve family problems. Experts argue that men still tend to learn to be aggressive and to express frustration in more violent ways than women. In a traditional First Nations culture, a man’s role was to be the provider and protector in the family. Women were considered sacred, because of their ability to create and bring life into the world. It has traditionally not been acceptable for First Nations men to use force against women.In recent times, many First Nations people were raised in residential schools where they experienced many forms of abuse. Often, they came home to parents who were abusing alcohol because they had lost their children. As a result, many were exposed to violence in their growing years. With a lack of healthy role models, combined with First Nations women’s increasing roles as provider, protector, nurturer, child bearer, etc., many First Nations men have lost sight of what they represented long ago, and therefore have lost sight of who they are. Women of all cultures are still not equal to men in many ways, especially economically. This makes women more vulnerable when violence occurs, and it makes them less able to leave an abusive relationship. Healthy relationships are based on equality and trust. Abuse of women is about power and control, the betrayal of trust, and lack of respect. It’s about using force or threats to make you afraid. It’s about using fear to control you.A man may abuse a woman because he has learned this behaviour in his childhood; has not learned appropriate ways of dealing with anger; is influenced by the way women and men are shown in the media; wants to maintain a tough macho image; believes violence is a way to show male power; has low self-esteem and wants his partner to be dependent on him; is influenced by TV sports, etc; thinks that there are few, if any, consequences for his violent acts. No matter why he does it, it is not your fault. Every man who has become an abuser must take responsibility for his behaviour. No one has the right to hit or hurt you. No matter what you do, you do not deserve abuse. You do not ask for it.